


All I Ask.

by wekingsandprettythings



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff, M/M, This Is Sad, Unhappy Ending, im sorry, set in 2368, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:44:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22710322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wekingsandprettythings/pseuds/wekingsandprettythings
Summary: Spock goes to see Jim for Valentines Day at their Arizona home.
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Spock, James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	All I Ask.

“Spock, you made it!” Jim cheered, his voice was soft and cheerful as he held his arms open for Spocks embrace. 

Spock held him for longer than he thought he would. It had been quite some time since he had felt Jim’s arms around him and he wasn’t going to let a moment pass where he didn’t appreciate his warmth. Even in his late 60’s, Jim was still warm and soft and Spock fit against him perfectly. 

“Happy Valentines Day,” Jim whispered as he pressed his cheek to Spock’s shoulder. 

Jim pulled back and smiled at him. He ran his hands down Spock’s arms before turning back to what he was doing. “I replicated some dinner for us, come sit and enjoy it.”

Their Earth home was exactly how Spock remembered it. Small and quaint and full of antiques Jim had collected from all over Earth, with the occasional Vulcan artefact scattered all around. They decided when they were searching for a home, that getting one in Arizona would be the best place for them. It was close enough to what Spock was used to on Vulcan and within a good distance of the academy that they could return when they needed to. 

He sat at their tiny table, big enough for 4 people at most, while Jim laid a plate of Pok tar in front of him and steak and potatoes for himself. “Your mother used to make this for you, I remembered.” 

Spock’s shoulder relaxed, he felt safe and calm. Everything was so perfect. From the smile on Jim’s face to the smell of the food, the sound of the windchimes on their porch. Everything was perfect.

“Thank you, Jim.” 

Jim reached out for Spock’s hand, Spock placed his hand on top of his. He held it tightly, running his thumb over his knuckles. “This is lovely, I am sure it will be most enjoyable.” 

“It better be, I slaved over it all day,” he exaggerated. 

Spock let a small smile slip past his lips. 

“So, how was your trip?” Jim asked, sawing at his steak before lifting a piece to his mouth. 

“It was pleasant, we had a small encounter with the Romulan’s however it was resolved quickly and Captain Picard was able to bring us to the conference safely.”

Jim sighed, “when doesn’t the enterprise have a run-in with the Romulan’s? It’s a Romulan magnet.” 

“As I recall, it was also a Klingon magnet when we were serving upon the enterprise,” He replied, an eyebrow arching. “Perhaps it has less to do with the ship itself and more to do with the ‘hotshot’ Captain’s onboard?” 

“Perhaps,” he smiled back. 

Spock ate his dinner, listening to Jim tell him about his problems with the garden and the plots in the paper books he was reading. How one of their neighbours had just given birth and how he remembers Bones was always telling stories of the different alien babies he had delivered. 

Spock let him talk for hours just to hear his voice once again. 

He helped Jim with the dishes, he dried while Jim washed. The breeze from the window behind the sink was perfect, it displaced his bangs causing Jim to reach out and brush them flat again before pressing his fingers to Spock’s cheek lightly. 

Once everything was cleaned up, Jim led him to their patio. He lit candles, there were 2 glasses of wine, a poetry book, and of course, their porch swing. 

The sun was setting behind the Arizona mountains as they settled in close to each other on the swing. Spock wrapped his arms around him and held him against his chest. Jim sighed and relaxed against him, Spock rested his cheek against the side of Jim’s head and breathed in the scent of his shampoo, remembering it so vividly, like yesterday was the last time he smelled it. 

Jim lifted the book, opening it to a random page and reading the first sonnet he saw. 

“Sonnet 116: Let me not to the marriage of true minds by William Shakespeare,” he said softly, taking a long pause before reading.

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds  
Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove.  
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark  
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,  
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.  
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle's compass come;  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error and upon me prov'd,  
I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.”

Spock took the book from his hands and placed it on the ground. “I have missed you far too much to just sit here and read. I wish to kiss you if that isn’t too much to ask?” 

Jim smiled and turned slightly to face him more. “I’d like that very much.” 

Spock held his face in his hands before kissing him, the human way, for the first time that night. His lips were soft, they were the same lips he had been kissing for the last 30 years. He memorized them, he loved them. He could spend the rest of his life kissing Jim if he was allowed to. 

They kissed well into the night. Till all that they could hear was the sound of their lips and the crickets in the distance. It was nice to hold him once more, the kiss him. To hold his hand while he led them back to their bedroom one last time. 

Jim fell asleep first, facing away from him while Spock spooned into his back. He ran his hand over his arm, he rubbed his nose against the back of his neck. He kissed his shoulder over and over, he listened to the sound of his breathing for far too long. 

“Computer, pause program,” Spock ordered. Watching as Jims stayed there, still and quiet on their bed, still in the position for Spock to hold him again if he wanted. 

He sighed deeply, he pressed the pads of his middle and forefinger to his cheek. “I will love you forever, t’hy’la.” 

“Computer save and end program.” 

Before he let the tears fall down his cheeks, he gathered his composure and left the holodeck and made his way to the main bridge. The turbo lift took him straight to where he wanted to go, he stood in the entryway for a moment, looking over the crew of the ship he once called home. 

“Permission to come on the bridge, Captain?” 

“Of course, Ambassador Spock,” Picard replied, a smile on his face as Spock made his way down the ramp. 

“Thank you for allowing me to use your holodeck.” 

“It’s our pleasure, Ambassador, is there anything else you require while we make our way back to Vulcan?” 

Spock shook his head lightly. “Thank you, however, I am very tired. If I am needed, I will be in my quarters.” 

“Sleep well, Ambassador,” Picard said with a nod and a smile as Spock turned to leave. 

He made his way back to his quarters slowly, taking in as much as he could. Not knowing when he’d be back on the Enterprise. Not knowing if he ever wanted to be back on the Enterprise. He felt too much pain in his chest, a deep yearning for everything he’s lost, and for what he was never able to have.

He fell asleep dreaming of what could have been. Of the children that they never got to see grow up, of the grandchildren that never would visit their old Arizona home. He dreamed of growing old with Jim by his side, he wondered what he’d look like as an old man. How he’d change, if he’d still be as reckless and stubborn past 100 years old. 

He just dreamed of him. Knowing he’d never love anyone like this again.

**Author's Note:**

> i cried writing this i am so sorry if you cried too 
> 
> follow me @octoberiove on twitter


End file.
